Dear Stay-At-Home-Mom

Dear Stay at Home Mom (SAHM),

I’m proud of you. I know the arrangement to care for Maxwell and Brandon wasn’t ideal, but you put your all into it. And yes, I know you didn’t want to put the boys in part-time daycare because of costs, but it did bring you relief right?  Come on, just admit it.  Okay, maybe a little bit of relief?  You managed to enjoy a hot latte, read a book or squeeze in a possible workout, if lucky.  BUT, really you used those two days in the work week to clean the house, do laundry, grocery shop and prep meals to last throughout the week.

Oh yes, and your summer 2016 was amazing. Parks, picnics, day trips and play dates were on the regular and you got yourself a nice tan.  Taking the boys out on your own to fancy coffee shops was fun and you became surprisingly confident as a mother.  Even when your boys became a hot mess, you didn’t let it get to you.  You’re a paying customer and no one was going to stop you from enjoying that last sip of your latte (even if it was cold).  But it wasn’t always a walk in the park, was it?  You were solo parenting quite a bit and being a 24/7 mom was beating you down. It did put a “strain” on your marriage, or as your husband would describe, “it was challenging” because strain was too strong of a word.

Oh yes, and then there was the turning point, when September came around. Shorter days and longer nights.  While all families on your street were getting back into the school routine, those parks, picnics, day trips and play dates quickly faded.  Just like your tan. Hanging out at the mall was not your thing, your boys were beginning to fight more frequently and you were not living up to your name “Sunshine”.

All the working moms were telling you how lucky you were to be in a position to stay at home. And you nodded your head agreeing, but didn’t always feel so lucky.

But remember, I am proud of you. While this letter to you and your readers may come across as whiney or negative, it was your reality as it is for many stay at home moms who don’t feel appreciated and then begin to feel resentment. I know you adore your boys and that they’ve enriched your life. You take pride in knowing that you are grooming them to be young gentlemen, compassionate, curious and loving. You have a huge amount of respect for your husband, who holds the same values as you and you fall deeper in love with him when you watch him care for your boys.  And I know you count your blessings every day and you’ve told me that it’s a privilege to be in a position to be able to stay at home and raise them.  Because you know, that not every mother gets that privilege, and you are incredibly thankful for that.

Shine Lily XO